An AR, an AK and a Mosin Nagant walk in to a bar... (Part 2)
AR15: Used by special forces to kill terrorists
AK47: Used by revolutionaries and any two bit nation’s illiterate conscripts to kill each other
Mosin-Nagant: Used by Simo Häyhä to kill Russian conscripts
AR15: Requires over 1000 rounds to break in
AK47: May need some breaking in
Mosin-Nagant: The stripper clips require more breaking in
AR15: Can take down smaller sized game.
AK47: Can take down average sized game.
Mosin-Nagant: Can take down satellites.
AR15: Invented 50 years ago by a consummate engineer
AK47: Invented 60 years ago by wounded tank sergeant
Mosin-Nagant: Invented 117 years ago by two drunks on a budget.
AR15: Star wars
AK47: Holy wars
Mosin-Nagant: Class wars
AR15: Makes small holes
AK47: Makes big holes
Mosin-Nagant: Makes black holes
AR15: Nice lightweight ammo can be carried in quantity.
AK47: You can carry a chest pouch with lots of mags with no problem.
Mosin-Nagant: Ammo is also used in tanks, and larger artillery pieces.
Domestic uses of the bayonet:
AR15: You affix it to your rifle and use it as a dibble to plant tulip bulbs in the garden.
AK47: You affix it to your rifle and use it to trim low-hanging tree branches.
Mosin-Nagant: You affix it to your rifle, accidentally stab it into the ceiling and bring down a square foot of plaster.
AR15: Comes in Pink Hello Kitty and Barbie
AK47: Comes in Pink Hello Kitty
Mosin-Nagant: What’s pink?
AR15: Iran-Contra was a cover-up
AK47: Afghanistan (1980) was a cover-up
Mosin-Nagant: Chernobyll was a cover-up
You call the thing with the ammo in it a “clip” and…
AR15: Your buddies glare at you and don’t speak to you for a month.
AK47: Your buddies smile at you with their gold teeth and “blast another cap.”
Mosin-Nagant: Your buddies smile at you because it’s one of the few times you all get to call something a “clip”… and be right.
AR15: Clean with fancy lubes and solvents with special tools.
AK47: Clean? In Soviet Russia AK clean you!
Mosin-Nagant: Squirt some Windex down the bore. Ready for another 500 rounds tomorrow!
AR15: You can be an expert with this rifle after basic training
AK47: You can be an expert with this rifle after a seminar at the Holiday Inn on AKs
Mosin-Nagant: You can be an expert with this rifle after spending 30 minutes on the internet reading forums, and watching youtube videos
AR15: Can shoot a squirrel and have a great meal
AK47: Can shoot a squirrel and have some meat left to eat.
Mosin-Nagant: There is a tail left around here somewhere.
AR15: Puts some countries air force to shame
AK47: Used by countries who can’t afford an air force
Mosin-Nagant: Could be used to take down an air force
AR15: Shoot one and you’ll be owning one soon!
AK47: Shoot one and you will buy some high capacity magazines and 1000 rounds of ammo
Mosin-Nagant: Shoot one and you will own 15 and want another!
AR15: Goes pew pew pew
AK47: Goes pow pow pow
Mosin-Nagant: Goes BOOOOOOOM!
AR15: Made by a stoned Eugene
AK47: Made by an injured Kalashnikov
Mosin-Nagant: Made by a drunken Belgian and a crazy Ivan
Owners drink of choice
AK47: Malt liquor
Mosin-Nagant: Brake cleaner
AR15: Makes a tiny hole with no fragmentation or undue extra injury, in accordance with the Geneva Convention
AK47: Makes a big hole and sometimes flings severed body parts around, not in accordance with the Geneva Convention
Mosin-Nagant: One of the reasons the Geneva Convention was written
AR15: Can shoot it off your head and it won’t kill you
AK47: Shoot it off your head and you die
Mosin-Nagant: Shoot if from your shoulder and you need it popped back into place
AR15: Used to kill Enemies of the State.
AK47: Used by Enemies of the State.
Mosin-Nagant: Enemy at the Gates.
AR15: Good for shooting poodles.
AK47: Good for shooting enemies of the state
Mosin-Nagant: Good for shooting light armored vehicles
AR15: Keeps gunsmiths in business
AK47: Keeps drug dealers and terrorists in business
Mosin-Nagant: Keeps Chiropractors in business
AR15: Built like a Toy.
AK47: Built like a Sewing Machine.
Mosin-Nagant: Built like a Tank!
AR15: Too much Plastic.
AK47: Too Much Sheet metal.
Mosin-Nagant: Too much of everything!
AR15: stays in the Vault.
AK47: not allowed in the vault.
Mosin-Nagant: Can be used to Pole Vault!
AR15: In your Heart you think it’s ugly.
AR15: In your Heart you know it’s ugly.
Mosin-Nagant: You’re afraid to call it ugly!
AR15: It doesn’t go anywhere near <shudder> water… Unless you’re drinking Evian
AK47: If water touches it, it would mistake it for a cleaning solvent and fall apart
Mosin-Nagant: Row-row-row your boat, gently down the Volga…
AR15: If it gets in the Mekong river, you need to clean it before firing.
AK47: If it gets in the Mekong river, shake the water out before firing.
Mosin-Nagant: Used as an oar to paddle up and down the Mekong river
AR15: Used to attack soldiers building a bridge across the Mekong
AK47: Used to protect soldiers building a bridge across the Mekong
Mosin-Nagant: Used to actually build the bridge across the Mekong.
AR15: Plastics make it possible
AK47: Sheet metal make it possible
Mosin-Nagant: Driftwood make it possible
AR15: Nice useful little round.
AK47: Very functional round.
Mosin-Nagant: Anti Tank Round
AR15: Useful against unarmored foe
AK47: Useful against armored foe
Mosin-Nagant: Useful against foe on the other side of the battlefield!
AR15: Useful for hosing down forward edge of the battle area…
AK47: Useful for hosing down sky over forward edge of the battle area…
Mosin-Nagant: Useful for hosing down rear of the battle area, enemy reserves and basic training camps at home…
AR15: Thousands of moving parts, held together by hundreds of bolts, screws, and precision welds.
AK47: Several dozen moving parts, held together by a few screws and some drunken Ivan’s light-sabering with an acetylene torch.
Mosin-Nagant: TWO MOVING PARTS. TWO SCREWS. .
AR15: Owner votes for John McCain
AK47: Owner prays for Barack Hussein Osama
Mosin-Nagant: Owner can overthrow the government no matter who becomes president.
AR15: One tenth the firepower at 10 times the price
AK47: Half the Firepower at twice the price
Mosin-Nagant: 10 times the firepower at one tenth the price
AR15: Turns little rocks into pebbles
AK47: Turns big rocks into little rocks
Mosin-Nagant: Makes molehills out of mountains
AR15: One inch groups at 100 yards.
AK47: Five to six inch groups at 100 yards.
Mosin-Nagant: Muzzle is one inch from target at 100 yards.
AR15: Designs drawn on blueprint paper by stoner and a team of experts in a R&D facility
AK47: Designs drawn on notebook paper by Kalashnikov in a Soviet hospital
Mosin-Nagant: Designs drawn on cocktail napkins by a drunken Sergei Mosin-Nagant in a bar
AR15: Clean with a bunch of cloths, patches, picks, brushes and don’t loose the small parts. Clean every 100 rounds.
AK47: Run a patch down the barrel, wipe out the chamber every few months.
Mosin-Nagant: Throw it in the dishwasher every couple years.