Humor from ZombieHunters.org
(I just bought a Mosin Nagant).
AR15: You can pick off prairie dogs at 300 meters all day long
AK47: You can pick off a deer pretty easy at 300 meters
Mosin-Nagant: You get out of your truck, see an elk on top of a hill, and realize you really can use iron sights that far.
AR15: You measure your misses by sub MOA measurements
AK47: You miss and, and aim a bit lower this time.
Mosin-Nagant: Even if you miss the shockwave of the bullet will kill the animal.
AR15: You are careful to keep in clean in the field.
AK47: You don’t worry so much about some dirt getting in it.
Mosin-Nagant: It still has gritty grease inside it from when the Finnish army put it into storage.
AR15: Your bayonet will do an alright job of butchering your kill if needed.
AK47: The bayonet doubles as a decent hunting knife.
Mosin-Nagant: Your bayonet can be used to spit roast an entire pig.
AR15: Nice and light for carrying over obstructions.
AK47: Handy package for carrying over obstructions.
Mosin-Nagant: You can pole vault over obstructions.
AR15: Can’t run dry or you get seizure.
AK47: Can run dry, but may cause laquered ammo to stick in chamber.
Mosin-Nagant: Just handling the bolt gives it enough oil to operate smoothly.
What your wife does after she finds out you spent the tax refund / stimulus payment on a -
AR15: She yells at you for spending the whole thing on a plastic varmint rifle.
AK47: She is disappointed at what an ugly rifle you spent half of it on.
Mosin-Nagant: She doesn’t even notice the Mosin-Nagant because of the diamond ring you got her with all the left over cash.
AR15: Melts IN the fire
AK47: Starts ON fire
Mosin-Nagant: Starts THE fire
AR15: With a custom barrel, Varmint Scope, and gunsmith trigger job, you can vaporize prairie dogs at 600 yards.
AK47: With a good rain, you can wait hidden in the mud at the side of a watering hole and wait for the game to come to you for a shot within 10 yards.
Mosin-Nagant: With a solid shooting position, you can hit that deer on the other side of the valley… and recover the bullet in the tree it was standing in front of.
AR15: You can buy 100 round magazines that require dry-carbon lubricant.
AK47: You can do push-ups on your 30 round steel mag (Saw this in a SPETSNATZ documentary).
Mosin-Nagant: You can use the buttstock to pound in a tent stake and if you don’t have tent stakes, the bayonet will work as one.
AR-15: Carried by elite special forces and highly-trained American soldiers
AK-47: Carried by illiterate peons and unwilling conscripts.
Mosin-Nagant-Nagant: Carried by Vassily Zaitsev.
AR15: Might just stop that charging terrorist with a three round burst
AK47: Would stop the terrorist in his tracks
Mosin-Nagant: Would stop the charging terrorist, his three buddies, and blow up the IED in the next block from the shockwave of the bullet…
AR15: Shoots a .22.
AK47: Shoots a carbine round.
Mosin-Nagant: Shoots a cannonball.
AR15: Shot by the free world
AK47: Shot at the free world
Mosin-Nagant: Almost free to shoot
AR15: Shoot it in the air it goes a mile
AK47: Shoot it in the air it goes 1/2 a mile
Mosin-Nagant: Shoot it in the air and someone in Berlin gets hit by a bullet.
AR15: Made out of used cars and recycled milk jugs
AK47: Made out of oil rigs and packing crates
Mosin-Nagant: Made out of old water pipe and goat carts
AR15: Sounds like a pop gun
AK47: Sounds like a machine gun
Mosin-Nagant: Sounds like the Trinity Atomic Blast
AR15: Sometimes mistaken for a toy
AK47: Sometimes mistaken for random parts
Mosin-Nagant: Sometimes mistaken for an artillery piece, or an anti-aircraft gun
AR15: Pray (it works) and spray
AK47: Spray and pray(you hit something)
Mosin-Nagant: The hammer of God
AR15: Makes grown men laugh.
AK47: Makes grown men cry.
Mosin-Nagant: Makes grown men incontinent.
AR15: Finicky when dirty.
AK47: Still works when dirty.
Mosin-Nagant: Arrives Dirty from the Distributor.
AR15: Don’t run over it…it will Break
AK47: Run over it, it still shoots.
Mosin-Nagant: Run over it and it will flatten your Tires!
AR15: Makes a Pop when fired
AK47: Makes a Boom when fired
Mosin-Nagant: What the hell was that ???
AR15: Ok, I got One!
AK47: Ok, I have 3 different ones.
Mosin-Nagant: Ok, I have Mosin-itis and have 14 and looking for More….
AR15: Makes a small hole in a tree
AK47: Makes a medium sized hole in a tree
Mosin-Nagant: Blows tree in half making firewood available.
AR15: Kills rabbits and coyotes
AK47: Kills pigs and small deer
Mosin-Nagant: If you can’t kill it with a Mosin-Nagant, it can’t be killed
AR15: Safe to stow in poly bags
AK47: Safe to stow in a rice paddy
Mosin-Nagant: Safe to stow in a landfill
AR15: 100 round beta c drum mags you can load with a speed loader
AK47: 75 round drum magazine you have to reload individually by pressing a lever
Mosin-Nagant: You can store 20 of them in a drum with about 1000 rounds on stripper clips
AR15: Has a nice Airsoft copy
AK47: Has a nice Airsoft copy
Mosin-Nagant: Who needs Airsoft when you can fire blanks.
AR15: Makes a nice paperweight
AK47: Makes a nice doorstop
Mosin-Nagant: Makes a nice baseball bat and way cheaper then aluminum
AR15: Loyal following of people that have more money than sense.
AK47: Loyal following of people that have a longer police record than the range of the rifle.
Mosin-Nagant: Loyal following of people that have more rounds of ammo than they got hairs on all family members’ heads combined.
AR-15: Your enemies will giggle
AK-47: Your enemies will take cover and swear as they ready their weapons
Mosin-Nagant: Your enemies will flatten themselves to the ground and offer up prayers of salvation to whatever god they believe in…then they will die.
AR-15: Drop it from ten feet and it shatters.
AK-47: Drop it from ten feet and it still works.
Mosin-Nagant: Drop it from ten feet and it’s more lethal than a lawn dart.
AR-15: You can melt it with a magnifying glass.
AK-47: Under a magnifying glass, you can see the ingrained dirt.
Mosin-Nagant: Under a magnifying glass, you can see the soaked-in BLOOD.
AR-15: Safe, Semiautomatic, Full-Auto (more like full-JAM)
AK-47: Safe(dubious), Semiautomatic, Full-Auto
Mosin-Nagant: Kill, Maim, Destroy
AR-15: When you run out of ammo, duck for cover and spend 15 minutes cleaning and reloading
AK-47: You could probably rig it up to fire chain-linked ammo
Mosin-Nagant: When you run out of ammo (never) you can shoot chaff and langrage from it (wikipedia that)
AR-15: My daddy bought me this weapon for my birthday
AK-47: I saved two weeks’ paychecks to buy this.
Mosin-Nagant: I think it was free…
AR-15: My rifle floated away in the flood
AK-47: My rifle was submerged for three weeks by the flood and still works
Mosin-Nagant: I fired my rifle and the flood waters parted…
AR15: You keep your bayonet in the kitchen because it is a good steak knife
AK47: You keep your bayonet in your toolbox because it is a good wire cutter
Mosin-Nagant: You no longer fix your bayonet in the house because the last time you did you poked a hole in the ceiling when you stood up
AR15: For $1000 you can get one
AK47: For $1000 you can get two and 300 rounds of ammo
Mosin-Nagant: For $1000 you can get 16 of them plus a Bulgarian armory’s worth of surplus ammo
AR15: Can start brush fires with incendiary ammunition.
AK47: Can start brush fires by dropping it after the handguard catches fire.
Mosin-Nagant: Can start brush fires by firing from anything lower than a kneeling position.
AR15: Built with custom parts, nice trigger, all the bells and whistles $1500+
AK47: Modified with aftermarket and 1,000 rounds of ammo not even $1500
Mosin-Nagant: Stock, with 1,000 rounds maybe $300, meaning you get $1200 to spend on more beer
AR15: Takes a few men out in a sweeper movement
AK47: Takes most men out in a sweeper movement
Mosin-Nagant: Shoot one the sonic boom will handle the rest
AR15: Used in negotiations
AK47: Reason for negotiations
AR15: I think I felt it kick
AK47: Kinda like a 20 guage
Mosin-Nagant with heavy ball: Where’s my freaking shoulder
AR15: Takes 3 rounds to take out your enemy
AK47: takes 30 rounds sprayed and hopefully you hit your target
Mosin-Nagant: 1 shot, 50 kills
AR15: More options than a custom Rolls-Royce. No two guns are alike.
AK47: Same number of options as a Toyota Corolla. Most guns look alike.
Mosin-Nagant: Options: You want a bayonet with that?
The limits of customizing a-
AR15: How much $ you got.
AK47: What you can find in the Tapco catalog.
Mosin-Nagant: How much duct tape Bubba’s got.
AR15: Such light recoil, you could put on over your balls and fire.
AK47: Recoil manageable enough for anyone to use it.
Mosin-Nagant: Recoil that registers as small tremors in the earth itself.
AR15: Bullet starts tumbling the moment it meets sufficient resistance, like paper
AK47: Bullet will continue trajectory until it hits something solid, like a deer
Mosin-Nagant: It keeps going and going and going….
AR15: You probably drive a Lexus
AK47: If you’re lucky to possess a vehicle, it’s referred to as a “Technical”
Mosin-Nagant: You hang truck-balls off your trailer hitch, and you’re proud of them.
AR15: Lots of fancy optics available
AK47: You can bolt some stuff to the side
Mosin-Nagant: Who cares about optics when the barrel is long enough to smack the enemy over the head without even leaving your foxhole.