Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: An AR, an AK and a Mosin Nagant walk in to a bar... (Part 1)

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    5

    An AR, an AK and a Mosin Nagant walk in to a bar... (Part 1)

    Humor from ZombieHunters.org

    (I just bought a Mosin Nagant).



    AR15: You can pick off prairie dogs at 300 meters all day long
    AK47: You can pick off a deer pretty easy at 300 meters
    Mosin-Nagant: You get out of your truck, see an elk on top of a hill, and realize you really can use iron sights that far.

    AR15: You measure your misses by sub MOA measurements
    AK47: You miss and, and aim a bit lower this time.
    Mosin-Nagant: Even if you miss the shockwave of the bullet will kill the animal.

    AR15: You are careful to keep in clean in the field.
    AK47: You don’t worry so much about some dirt getting in it.
    Mosin-Nagant: It still has gritty grease inside it from when the Finnish army put it into storage.

    AR15: Your bayonet will do an alright job of butchering your kill if needed.
    AK47: The bayonet doubles as a decent hunting knife.
    Mosin-Nagant: Your bayonet can be used to spit roast an entire pig.

    AR15: Nice and light for carrying over obstructions.
    AK47: Handy package for carrying over obstructions.
    Mosin-Nagant: You can pole vault over obstructions.

    AR15: Can’t run dry or you get seizure.
    AK47: Can run dry, but may cause laquered ammo to stick in chamber.
    Mosin-Nagant: Just handling the bolt gives it enough oil to operate smoothly.

    What your wife does after she finds out you spent the tax refund / stimulus payment on a -

    AR15: She yells at you for spending the whole thing on a plastic varmint rifle.
    AK47: She is disappointed at what an ugly rifle you spent half of it on.
    Mosin-Nagant: She doesn’t even notice the Mosin-Nagant because of the diamond ring you got her with all the left over cash.

    AR15: Melts IN the fire
    AK47: Starts ON fire
    Mosin-Nagant: Starts THE fire

    AR15: With a custom barrel, Varmint Scope, and gunsmith trigger job, you can vaporize prairie dogs at 600 yards.
    AK47: With a good rain, you can wait hidden in the mud at the side of a watering hole and wait for the game to come to you for a shot within 10 yards.
    Mosin-Nagant: With a solid shooting position, you can hit that deer on the other side of the valley… and recover the bullet in the tree it was standing in front of.

    AR15: You can buy 100 round magazines that require dry-carbon lubricant.
    AK47: You can do push-ups on your 30 round steel mag (Saw this in a SPETSNATZ documentary).
    Mosin-Nagant: You can use the buttstock to pound in a tent stake and if you don’t have tent stakes, the bayonet will work as one.

    AR-15: Carried by elite special forces and highly-trained American soldiers
    AK-47: Carried by illiterate peons and unwilling conscripts.
    Mosin-Nagant-Nagant: Carried by Vassily Zaitsev.

    AR15: Might just stop that charging terrorist with a three round burst
    AK47: Would stop the terrorist in his tracks
    Mosin-Nagant: Would stop the charging terrorist, his three buddies, and blow up the IED in the next block from the shockwave of the bullet…

    AR15: Shoots a .22.
    AK47: Shoots a carbine round.
    Mosin-Nagant: Shoots a cannonball.

    AR15: Shot by the free world
    AK47: Shot at the free world
    Mosin-Nagant: Almost free to shoot

    AR15: Shoot it in the air it goes a mile
    AK47: Shoot it in the air it goes 1/2 a mile
    Mosin-Nagant: Shoot it in the air and someone in Berlin gets hit by a bullet.

    AR15: Made out of used cars and recycled milk jugs
    AK47: Made out of oil rigs and packing crates
    Mosin-Nagant: Made out of old water pipe and goat carts

    AR15: Sounds like a pop gun
    AK47: Sounds like a machine gun
    Mosin-Nagant: Sounds like the Trinity Atomic Blast

    AR15: Sometimes mistaken for a toy
    AK47: Sometimes mistaken for random parts
    Mosin-Nagant: Sometimes mistaken for an artillery piece, or an anti-aircraft gun

    AR15: Pray (it works) and spray
    AK47: Spray and pray(you hit something)
    Mosin-Nagant: The hammer of God

    AR15: Makes grown men laugh.
    AK47: Makes grown men cry.
    Mosin-Nagant: Makes grown men incontinent.

    AR15: Finicky when dirty.
    AK47: Still works when dirty.
    Mosin-Nagant: Arrives Dirty from the Distributor.

    AR15: Don’t run over it…it will Break
    AK47: Run over it, it still shoots.
    Mosin-Nagant: Run over it and it will flatten your Tires!

    AR15: Makes a Pop when fired
    AK47: Makes a Boom when fired
    Mosin-Nagant: What the hell was that ???

    AR15: Ok, I got One!
    AK47: Ok, I have 3 different ones.
    Mosin-Nagant: Ok, I have Mosin-itis and have 14 and looking for More….

    AR15: Makes a small hole in a tree
    AK47: Makes a medium sized hole in a tree
    Mosin-Nagant: Blows tree in half making firewood available.

    AR15: Kills rabbits and coyotes
    AK47: Kills pigs and small deer
    Mosin-Nagant: If you can’t kill it with a Mosin-Nagant, it can’t be killed

    AR15: Safe to stow in poly bags
    AK47: Safe to stow in a rice paddy
    Mosin-Nagant: Safe to stow in a landfill

    AR15: 100 round beta c drum mags you can load with a speed loader
    AK47: 75 round drum magazine you have to reload individually by pressing a lever
    Mosin-Nagant: You can store 20 of them in a drum with about 1000 rounds on stripper clips

    AR15: Has a nice Airsoft copy
    AK47: Has a nice Airsoft copy
    Mosin-Nagant: Who needs Airsoft when you can fire blanks.

    AR15: Makes a nice paperweight
    AK47: Makes a nice doorstop
    Mosin-Nagant: Makes a nice baseball bat and way cheaper then aluminum

    AR15: Loyal following of people that have more money than sense.
    AK47: Loyal following of people that have a longer police record than the range of the rifle.
    Mosin-Nagant: Loyal following of people that have more rounds of ammo than they got hairs on all family members’ heads combined.

    AR-15: Your enemies will giggle
    AK-47: Your enemies will take cover and swear as they ready their weapons
    Mosin-Nagant: Your enemies will flatten themselves to the ground and offer up prayers of salvation to whatever god they believe in…then they will die.

    AR-15: Drop it from ten feet and it shatters.
    AK-47: Drop it from ten feet and it still works.
    Mosin-Nagant: Drop it from ten feet and it’s more lethal than a lawn dart.

    AR-15: You can melt it with a magnifying glass.
    AK-47: Under a magnifying glass, you can see the ingrained dirt.
    Mosin-Nagant: Under a magnifying glass, you can see the soaked-in BLOOD.

    AR-15: Safe, Semiautomatic, Full-Auto (more like full-JAM)
    AK-47: Safe(dubious), Semiautomatic, Full-Auto
    Mosin-Nagant: Kill, Maim, Destroy

    AR-15: When you run out of ammo, duck for cover and spend 15 minutes cleaning and reloading
    AK-47: You could probably rig it up to fire chain-linked ammo
    Mosin-Nagant: When you run out of ammo (never) you can shoot chaff and langrage from it (wikipedia that)

    AR-15: My daddy bought me this weapon for my birthday
    AK-47: I saved two weeks’ paychecks to buy this.
    Mosin-Nagant: I think it was free…

    AR-15: My rifle floated away in the flood
    AK-47: My rifle was submerged for three weeks by the flood and still works
    Mosin-Nagant: I fired my rifle and the flood waters parted…

    AR15: You keep your bayonet in the kitchen because it is a good steak knife
    AK47: You keep your bayonet in your toolbox because it is a good wire cutter
    Mosin-Nagant: You no longer fix your bayonet in the house because the last time you did you poked a hole in the ceiling when you stood up

    AR15: For $1000 you can get one
    AK47: For $1000 you can get two and 300 rounds of ammo
    Mosin-Nagant: For $1000 you can get 16 of them plus a Bulgarian armory’s worth of surplus ammo

    AR15: Can start brush fires with incendiary ammunition.
    AK47: Can start brush fires by dropping it after the handguard catches fire.
    Mosin-Nagant: Can start brush fires by firing from anything lower than a kneeling position.

    AR15: Built with custom parts, nice trigger, all the bells and whistles $1500+
    AK47: Modified with aftermarket and 1,000 rounds of ammo not even $1500
    Mosin-Nagant: Stock, with 1,000 rounds maybe $300, meaning you get $1200 to spend on more beer

    AR15: Takes a few men out in a sweeper movement
    AK47: Takes most men out in a sweeper movement
    Mosin-Nagant: Shoot one the sonic boom will handle the rest

    AR15: Used in negotiations
    AK47: Reason for negotiations
    Mosin-Nagant: Negotiator

    AR15: I think I felt it kick
    AK47: Kinda like a 20 guage
    Mosin-Nagant: Dislocation
    Mosin-Nagant with heavy ball: Where’s my freaking shoulder

    AR15: Takes 3 rounds to take out your enemy
    AK47: takes 30 rounds sprayed and hopefully you hit your target
    Mosin-Nagant: 1 shot, 50 kills

    AR15: More options than a custom Rolls-Royce. No two guns are alike.
    AK47: Same number of options as a Toyota Corolla. Most guns look alike.
    Mosin-Nagant: Options: You want a bayonet with that?

    The limits of customizing a-
    AR15: How much $ you got.
    AK47: What you can find in the Tapco catalog.
    Mosin-Nagant: How much duct tape Bubba’s got.

    AR15: Such light recoil, you could put on over your balls and fire.
    AK47: Recoil manageable enough for anyone to use it.
    Mosin-Nagant: Recoil that registers as small tremors in the earth itself.

    AR15: Bullet starts tumbling the moment it meets sufficient resistance, like paper
    AK47: Bullet will continue trajectory until it hits something solid, like a deer
    Mosin-Nagant: It keeps going and going and going….

    AR15: You probably drive a Lexus
    AK47: If you’re lucky to possess a vehicle, it’s referred to as a “Technical”
    Mosin-Nagant: You hang truck-balls off your trailer hitch, and you’re proud of them.

    AR15: Lots of fancy optics available
    AK47: You can bolt some stuff to the side
    Mosin-Nagant: Who cares about optics when the barrel is long enough to smack the enemy over the head without even leaving your foxhole.

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    5
    An AR, an AK and a Mosin Nagant walk in to a bar... (Part 2)

    AR15: Used by special forces to kill terrorists
    AK47: Used by revolutionaries and any two bit nation’s illiterate conscripts to kill each other
    Mosin-Nagant: Used by Simo Häyhä to kill Russian conscripts

    AR15: Requires over 1000 rounds to break in
    AK47: May need some breaking in
    Mosin-Nagant: The stripper clips require more breaking in

    AR15: Can take down smaller sized game.
    AK47: Can take down average sized game.
    Mosin-Nagant: Can take down satellites.

    AR15: Invented 50 years ago by a consummate engineer
    AK47: Invented 60 years ago by wounded tank sergeant
    Mosin-Nagant: Invented 117 years ago by two drunks on a budget.

    AR15: Star wars
    AK47: Holy wars
    Mosin-Nagant: Class wars

    AR15: Makes small holes
    AK47: Makes big holes
    Mosin-Nagant: Makes black holes

    AR15: Nice lightweight ammo can be carried in quantity.
    AK47: You can carry a chest pouch with lots of mags with no problem.
    Mosin-Nagant: Ammo is also used in tanks, and larger artillery pieces.

    Domestic uses of the bayonet:
    AR15: You affix it to your rifle and use it as a dibble to plant tulip bulbs in the garden.
    AK47: You affix it to your rifle and use it to trim low-hanging tree branches.
    Mosin-Nagant: You affix it to your rifle, accidentally stab it into the ceiling and bring down a square foot of plaster.

    AR15: Comes in Pink Hello Kitty and Barbie
    AK47: Comes in Pink Hello Kitty
    Mosin-Nagant: What’s pink?

    AR15: Iran-Contra was a cover-up
    AK47: Afghanistan (1980) was a cover-up
    Mosin-Nagant: Chernobyll was a cover-up

    You call the thing with the ammo in it a “clip” and…
    AR15: Your buddies glare at you and don’t speak to you for a month.
    AK47: Your buddies smile at you with their gold teeth and “blast another cap.”
    Mosin-Nagant: Your buddies smile at you because it’s one of the few times you all get to call something a “clip”… and be right.

    AR15: Clean with fancy lubes and solvents with special tools.
    AK47: Clean? In Soviet Russia AK clean you!
    Mosin-Nagant: Squirt some Windex down the bore. Ready for another 500 rounds tomorrow!

    AR15: You can be an expert with this rifle after basic training
    AK47: You can be an expert with this rifle after a seminar at the Holiday Inn on AKs
    Mosin-Nagant: You can be an expert with this rifle after spending 30 minutes on the internet reading forums, and watching youtube videos

    AR15: Can shoot a squirrel and have a great meal
    AK47: Can shoot a squirrel and have some meat left to eat.
    Mosin-Nagant: There is a tail left around here somewhere.

    AR15: Puts some countries air force to shame
    AK47: Used by countries who can’t afford an air force
    Mosin-Nagant: Could be used to take down an air force

    AR15: Shoot one and you’ll be owning one soon!
    AK47: Shoot one and you will buy some high capacity magazines and 1000 rounds of ammo
    Mosin-Nagant: Shoot one and you will own 15 and want another!

    AR15: Goes pew pew pew
    AK47: Goes pow pow pow
    Mosin-Nagant: Goes BOOOOOOOM!

    AR15: Made by a stoned Eugene
    AK47: Made by an injured Kalashnikov
    Mosin-Nagant: Made by a drunken Belgian and a crazy Ivan

    Owners drink of choice
    AR15: Cognac
    AK47: Malt liquor
    Mosin-Nagant: Brake cleaner

    AR15: Makes a tiny hole with no fragmentation or undue extra injury, in accordance with the Geneva Convention
    AK47: Makes a big hole and sometimes flings severed body parts around, not in accordance with the Geneva Convention
    Mosin-Nagant: One of the reasons the Geneva Convention was written

    AR15: Can shoot it off your head and it won’t kill you
    AK47: Shoot it off your head and you die
    Mosin-Nagant: Shoot if from your shoulder and you need it popped back into place

    AR15: Used to kill Enemies of the State.
    AK47: Used by Enemies of the State.
    Mosin-Nagant: Enemy at the Gates.

    AR15: Good for shooting poodles.
    AK47: Good for shooting enemies of the state
    Mosin-Nagant: Good for shooting light armored vehicles

    AR15: Keeps gunsmiths in business
    AK47: Keeps drug dealers and terrorists in business
    Mosin-Nagant: Keeps Chiropractors in business

    AR15: Built like a Toy.
    AK47: Built like a Sewing Machine.
    Mosin-Nagant: Built like a Tank!

    AR15: Too much Plastic.
    AK47: Too Much Sheet metal.
    Mosin-Nagant: Too much of everything!

    AR15: stays in the Vault.
    AK47: not allowed in the vault.
    Mosin-Nagant: Can be used to Pole Vault!

    AR15: In your Heart you think it’s ugly.
    AR15: In your Heart you know it’s ugly.
    Mosin-Nagant: You’re afraid to call it ugly!

    AR15: It doesn’t go anywhere near <shudder> water… Unless you’re drinking Evian
    AK47: If water touches it, it would mistake it for a cleaning solvent and fall apart
    Mosin-Nagant: Row-row-row your boat, gently down the Volga…

    AR15: If it gets in the Mekong river, you need to clean it before firing.
    AK47: If it gets in the Mekong river, shake the water out before firing.
    Mosin-Nagant: Used as an oar to paddle up and down the Mekong river

    AR15: Used to attack soldiers building a bridge across the Mekong
    AK47: Used to protect soldiers building a bridge across the Mekong
    Mosin-Nagant: Used to actually build the bridge across the Mekong.

    AR15: Plastics make it possible
    AK47: Sheet metal make it possible
    Mosin-Nagant: Driftwood make it possible

    AR15: Nice useful little round.
    AK47: Very functional round.
    Mosin-Nagant: Anti Tank Round

    AR15: Useful against unarmored foe
    AK47: Useful against armored foe
    Mosin-Nagant: Useful against foe on the other side of the battlefield!

    AR15: Useful for hosing down forward edge of the battle area…
    AK47: Useful for hosing down sky over forward edge of the battle area…
    Mosin-Nagant: Useful for hosing down rear of the battle area, enemy reserves and basic training camps at home…

    AR15: Thousands of moving parts, held together by hundreds of bolts, screws, and precision welds.
    AK47: Several dozen moving parts, held together by a few screws and some drunken Ivan’s light-sabering with an acetylene torch.
    Mosin-Nagant: TWO MOVING PARTS. TWO SCREWS. .

    AR15: Owner votes for John McCain
    AK47: Owner prays for Barack Hussein Osama
    Mosin-Nagant: Owner can overthrow the government no matter who becomes president.

    AR15: One tenth the firepower at 10 times the price
    AK47: Half the Firepower at twice the price
    Mosin-Nagant: 10 times the firepower at one tenth the price

    AR15: Turns little rocks into pebbles
    AK47: Turns big rocks into little rocks
    Mosin-Nagant: Makes molehills out of mountains

    AR15: One inch groups at 100 yards.
    AK47: Five to six inch groups at 100 yards.
    Mosin-Nagant: Muzzle is one inch from target at 100 yards.

    AR15: Designs drawn on blueprint paper by stoner and a team of experts in a R&D facility
    AK47: Designs drawn on notebook paper by Kalashnikov in a Soviet hospital
    Mosin-Nagant: Designs drawn on cocktail napkins by a drunken Sergei Mosin-Nagant in a bar

    AR15: Clean with a bunch of cloths, patches, picks, brushes and don’t loose the small parts. Clean every 100 rounds.
    AK47: Run a patch down the barrel, wipe out the chamber every few months.
    Mosin-Nagant: Throw it in the dishwasher every couple years.
    Last edited by TrexR4kids; 03-03-2013 at 11:46 AM.

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    5
    An AR, an AK and a Mosin Nagant walk in to a bar... (Part 2)

    AR15: Used by special forces to kill terrorists
    AK47: Used by revolutionaries and any two bit nation’s illiterate conscripts to kill each other
    Mosin-Nagant: Used by Simo Häyhä to kill Russian conscripts

    AR15: Requires over 1000 rounds to break in
    AK47: May need some breaking in
    Mosin-Nagant: The stripper clips require more breaking in

    AR15: Can take down smaller sized game.
    AK47: Can take down average sized game.
    Mosin-Nagant: Can take down satellites.

    AR15: Invented 50 years ago by a consummate engineer
    AK47: Invented 60 years ago by wounded tank sergeant
    Mosin-Nagant: Invented 117 years ago by two drunks on a budget.

    AR15: Star wars
    AK47: Holy wars
    Mosin-Nagant: Class wars

    AR15: Makes small holes
    AK47: Makes big holes
    Mosin-Nagant: Makes black holes

    AR15: Nice lightweight ammo can be carried in quantity.
    AK47: You can carry a chest pouch with lots of mags with no problem.
    Mosin-Nagant: Ammo is also used in tanks, and larger artillery pieces.

    Domestic uses of the bayonet:
    AR15: You affix it to your rifle and use it as a dibble to plant tulip bulbs in the garden.
    AK47: You affix it to your rifle and use it to trim low-hanging tree branches.
    Mosin-Nagant: You affix it to your rifle, accidentally stab it into the ceiling and bring down a square foot of plaster.

    AR15: Comes in Pink Hello Kitty and Barbie
    AK47: Comes in Pink Hello Kitty
    Mosin-Nagant: What’s pink?

    AR15: Iran-Contra was a cover-up
    AK47: Afghanistan (1980) was a cover-up
    Mosin-Nagant: Chernobyll was a cover-up

    You call the thing with the ammo in it a “clip” and…
    AR15: Your buddies glare at you and don’t speak to you for a month.
    AK47: Your buddies smile at you with their gold teeth and “blast another cap.”
    Mosin-Nagant: Your buddies smile at you because it’s one of the few times you all get to call something a “clip”… and be right.

    AR15: Clean with fancy lubes and solvents with special tools.
    AK47: Clean? In Soviet Russia AK clean you!
    Mosin-Nagant: Squirt some Windex down the bore. Ready for another 500 rounds tomorrow!

    AR15: You can be an expert with this rifle after basic training
    AK47: You can be an expert with this rifle after a seminar at the Holiday Inn on AKs
    Mosin-Nagant: You can be an expert with this rifle after spending 30 minutes on the internet reading forums, and watching youtube videos

    AR15: Can shoot a squirrel and have a great meal
    AK47: Can shoot a squirrel and have some meat left to eat.
    Mosin-Nagant: There is a tail left around here somewhere.

    AR15: Puts some countries air force to shame
    AK47: Used by countries who can’t afford an air force
    Mosin-Nagant: Could be used to take down an air force

    AR15: Shoot one and you’ll be owning one soon!
    AK47: Shoot one and you will buy some high capacity magazines and 1000 rounds of ammo
    Mosin-Nagant: Shoot one and you will own 15 and want another!

    AR15: Goes pew pew pew
    AK47: Goes pow pow pow
    Mosin-Nagant: Goes BOOOOOOOM!

    AR15: Made by a stoned Eugene
    AK47: Made by an injured Kalashnikov
    Mosin-Nagant: Made by a drunken Belgian and a crazy Ivan

    Owners drink of choice
    AR15: Cognac
    AK47: Malt liquor
    Mosin-Nagant: Brake cleaner

    AR15: Makes a tiny hole with no fragmentation or undue extra injury, in accordance with the Geneva Convention
    AK47: Makes a big hole and sometimes flings severed body parts around, not in accordance with the Geneva Convention
    Mosin-Nagant: One of the reasons the Geneva Convention was written

    AR15: Can shoot it off your head and it won’t kill you
    AK47: Shoot it off your head and you die
    Mosin-Nagant: Shoot if from your shoulder and you need it popped back into place

    AR15: Used to kill Enemies of the State.
    AK47: Used by Enemies of the State.
    Mosin-Nagant: Enemy at the Gates.

    AR15: Good for shooting poodles.
    AK47: Good for shooting enemies of the state
    Mosin-Nagant: Good for shooting light armored vehicles

    AR15: Keeps gunsmiths in business
    AK47: Keeps drug dealers and terrorists in business
    Mosin-Nagant: Keeps Chiropractors in business

    AR15: Built like a Toy.
    AK47: Built like a Sewing Machine.
    Mosin-Nagant: Built like a Tank!

    AR15: Too much Plastic.
    AK47: Too Much Sheet metal.
    Mosin-Nagant: Too much of everything!

    AR15: stays in the Vault.
    AK47: not allowed in the vault.
    Mosin-Nagant: Can be used to Pole Vault!

    AR15: In your Heart you think it’s ugly.
    AR15: In your Heart you know it’s ugly.
    Mosin-Nagant: You’re afraid to call it ugly!

    AR15: It doesn’t go anywhere near <shudder> water… Unless you’re drinking Evian
    AK47: If water touches it, it would mistake it for a cleaning solvent and fall apart
    Mosin-Nagant: Row-row-row your boat, gently down the Volga…

    AR15: If it gets in the Mekong river, you need to clean it before firing.
    AK47: If it gets in the Mekong river, shake the water out before firing.
    Mosin-Nagant: Used as an oar to paddle up and down the Mekong river

    AR15: Used to attack soldiers building a bridge across the Mekong
    AK47: Used to protect soldiers building a bridge across the Mekong
    Mosin-Nagant: Used to actually build the bridge across the Mekong.

    AR15: Plastics make it possible
    AK47: Sheet metal make it possible
    Mosin-Nagant: Driftwood make it possible

    AR15: Nice useful little round.
    AK47: Very functional round.
    Mosin-Nagant: Anti Tank Round

    AR15: Useful against unarmored foe
    AK47: Useful against armored foe
    Mosin-Nagant: Useful against foe on the other side of the battlefield!

    AR15: Useful for hosing down forward edge of the battle area…
    AK47: Useful for hosing down sky over forward edge of the battle area…
    Mosin-Nagant: Useful for hosing down rear of the battle area, enemy reserves and basic training camps at home…

    AR15: Thousands of moving parts, held together by hundreds of bolts, screws, and precision welds.
    AK47: Several dozen moving parts, held together by a few screws and some drunken Ivan’s light-sabering with an acetylene torch.
    Mosin-Nagant: TWO MOVING PARTS. TWO SCREWS. .

    AR15: Owner votes for John McCain
    AK47: Owner prays for Barack Hussein Osama
    Mosin-Nagant: Owner can overthrow the government no matter who becomes president.

    AR15: One tenth the firepower at 10 times the price
    AK47: Half the Firepower at twice the price
    Mosin-Nagant: 10 times the firepower at one tenth the price

    AR15: Turns little rocks into pebbles
    AK47: Turns big rocks into little rocks
    Mosin-Nagant: Makes molehills out of mountains

    AR15: One inch groups at 100 yards.
    AK47: Five to six inch groups at 100 yards.
    Mosin-Nagant: Muzzle is one inch from target at 100 yards.

    AR15: Designs drawn on blueprint paper by stoner and a team of experts in a R&D facility
    AK47: Designs drawn on notebook paper by Kalashnikov in a Soviet hospital
    Mosin-Nagant: Designs drawn on cocktail napkins by a drunken Sergei Mosin-Nagant in a bar

  4. #4
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Posts
    5
    An AR, an AK and a Mosin Nagant walk in to a bar... (Part 3)

    AR15: New shooters love it because of good ergonomics and light recoil.
    AK47: New shooters love it because of light recoil.
    Mosin-Nagant: New shooters required to sign a waiver-absolving owner of physical damage incurred from recoil

    AR15: Usually equipped with flash hider to reduce muzzle flash.
    AK47: Can be equipped with flash hider to reduce muzzle flash.
    Mosin-Nagant: Muzzle flash can be used to summon the mother ship.

    AR15: Can be used to defend home against crooks
    AK47: Can be used to defend Oil Tanker against Pirates
    Mosin-Nagant: Can Replace one of the Deck Guns on the Kirov Class Battle cruiser

    AR-15: Defenders
    AK-47: Invaders
    Mosin-Nagant: Victors

    AR15: High cost, high maintenance.
    AK47: Low cost, low maintenance.
    Mosin-Nagant: What are these cost and maintenance things you speak of?

    AR15: Your rifle takes a few hours to sight in, starting at 50 yard and moving up to 200, making minute adjustments with a small screwdriver.
    AK47: You slide your rear sight around until you hit the target.
    Mosin-Nagant: You hit your rifle with a hammer to sight it.

    AR15: Arm of the free world
    AK47: Arm of everybody else
    Mosin-Nagant: Arm of Chuck Norris

    AR15: Politicians fear it.
    AK47: Media fears it.
    Mosin-Nagant: Zombies fear it!

    At an indoor range.
    AR15: Gets people’s attention because of it’s wonderful accuracy.
    AK47: Gets people’s attention because of it’s rugged reliability.
    Mosin-Nagant: Gets people’s attention because muzzle flash sets off sprinkler system!

    As for accurizing.
    AR15: You buy match grade components installed by professional gunsmith and spend thousands of dollars.
    AK47: You buy GOOD ammo and optics and spend hundreds of dollars.
    Mosin-Nagant: You use an empty soda can, some sand paper and spend seven bucks!

    AR15: You can put one hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 30 rounds.
    AK47: You can put a .30? hole through 12? of oak, if you can hit it.
    Mosin-Nagant: You can knock down everyone else’s target with the shock wave of your bullet going downrange.

    AR15: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great whiffle bat.
    AK47: When out of ammo your rifle will nominally pass as a club.
    Mosin-Nagant: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole, or firewood.

    AR15: What’s recoil?
    AK47: Recoil is manageable, even fun.
    Mosin-Nagant: Recoil is often used to relocate shoulders thrown out by the previous shot.

    AR15: Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle.
    AK47: Your sight adjustment goes to “10?, and you’ve never bothered moving it.
    Mosin-Nagant: Your sight adjustment goes to 12 miles and you’ve actually tried it.

    AR15: After a day at the range, you detail strip your rifle and thoroughly clean and lubricate it with only the best products.
    AK47: After a day of shooting out back you run a quick patch through the bore and throw your rifle in the back of your truck.
    Mosin-Nagant: Cleaning….and maintenance?

    AR15: Millennium Falcon
    AK47: Star Destroyer
    Mosin-Nagant: The Death Star

    As for accessories.
    AR15: You have a never ending list of high dollar tacticool accessories.
    AK47: You have a never ending list of Chinese made tacticool accessories.
    Mosin-Nagant: You have carry strap and ammo what more you need comrade?

    AR15: Cost a lot of money
    AK47: Cost some money
    Mosin-Nagant: free with purchase of bayonet

    AR15: Backordered.
    AK47: Backordered.
    Mosin-Nagant: Mail ordered.

    AR15: When out of ammo you would rather die than risk damaging your $1200 rifle buy using it as a club.
    AK47: When out of ammo your rifle makes a nice club.
    Mosin-Nagant: Your rifle is a club that can shoot people.

    AR15: When on patrol in Vietnam ammo is so light you can carry around 900 rounds of ammo with you.
    AK47: When patrolling your warlord’s territory, you carry all the ammo you need in the back of a technical.
    Mosin-Nagant: When sent to battle at Stalingrad you are only issued a stripper clip of ammunition and told that you would find your rifle laying on the ground.

    AR15: Got it by joining army
    AK47: Got it with one paycheck
    Mosin-Nagant: Got it by saving beer cans

    On prairie dogs:
    AR15: You sit back with your buddies poopin them all day long 651hits 3 misses.
    AK47: You and another person go to a dog-town fire 4,000 rounds and each get one be cause they were 8 feet away and deaf.
    Mosin-Nagant: You go with 3 other people get the first shot at the first P-dog you see and wipe out the entire colony, leaving a crater that the people who find it claim was a meteor impact.

    Regarding muzzle blast:
    AR15: Makes a popping sound that is hardly noticed at a public range.
    AK47: Makes a hearty boom that usually gets noticed at a public range.
    Mosin-Nagant: Makes the Earth tremble and two guys in Bavaria look at each other and ask “vat da hell vas dat?!”

    AR15: Looks like a toy
    AK47: Looks cobbled together from spare parts
    Mosin-Nagant: Looks like a Kentucky Musket of DOOM!

    AR15: Sworn at by three generations of American soldiers and Marines
    AK47: Brought back as a proof of kill by Carlos Hathcock
    Mosin-Nagant: Carried by Samo Hayho, Vasili Ziatsev and feared on both sides of the battle line in the hands of snipers.

    AR15: Flash suppressed, super stealthy
    AK47: Why worry about stealth when you and your comrades can pour a wall of lead onto the enemy?
    Mosin-Nagant: Blinds anybody within 150 meters who’s not wearing welding goggles.

    AR15: Can use the bayonet to whittle
    AK47: Can use the bayonet to kill an enemy or butcher food
    Mosin-Nagant: Bayonet used to cut the sheet metal parts they use to make AR’s and AK’s

    AR15: Underslung grenade launcher can take out a dug-in enemy at 300 meters
    AK47: Underslung grenade launcher makes a lot of noise and a huge dirt crater
    Mosin-Nagant: Who needs grenades when your bullets are so big they can kill tanks?

    AR15: Inspired by science fiction
    AK47: Inspired by a need for a reliable, selectable-fire weapon
    Mosin-Nagant: Inspired by men with balls. Men with HUGE, HAIRY BALLS

    AR15: Comprised of several hundred moving parts, usually falls victim to Murphy’s law
    AK47: Comprised of as few moving parts as possible, almost impossible to break unless something goes REALLY REALLY WRONG (which might IMPROVE the accuracy)
    Mosin-Nagant: Has only one moving part, is held together by only two screws, and damned well outshoots both of the above.

    AR15: Rust is your mortal enemy, you clean your gun five times a day.
    AK47: Rust might become a problem in a few years, you clean your gun once a month.
    Mosin-Nagant: Rust makes your rifle look more authentic.

    AR15: You clean your rifle with molecularly engineered precision $1000-ounce synthetic lubricant
    AK47: WD-40 is acceptable
    Mosin-Nagant: If everything else runs out you can clean your rifle with your own piss

    With regard to sound volume:
    AR15: Suitable for use with a sound suppressor because its tiny bullet is already quiet.
    AK47: No need for a sound suppressor because the enemy will be flat on the ground with their hands over their ears, hiding from the sheer volume of fire.
    Mosin-Nagant: You don’t need a sound suppressor, because after the first shot the enemy will be totally deaf anyway.

    How long does it take to learn to care for your rifle?
    AR15: It will take a drill sergeant about a week to teach you what you need to know about how to disassemble, reassemble and maintain your rifle.
    AK47: A good gunnery sergeant can teach you how to care for one in about 4 hours.
    Mosin-Nagant: You can learn how to take it apart and put it back together in about 15 minutes with the manual and a couple of YouTube videos in front of you.

    AR15: Must be carefully cleaned every 100 rounds or so.
    AK47: Only have to worry about cleaning if using Wolf ammo
    Mosin-Nagant: Cleaning? Consists of getting liquored up on vodka and peeing down the barrel to get rid of corrosive salts from milsurp primers.

    AR15: Opened by pushing 2 pins
    AK47: Opened with a swift kick
    Mosin-Nagant: Opened with a 2X4 and a ball peen hammer

    AR15: Mostly made out of expensive polymers
    AK47: Mostly made out of cheap stamped metal and particle board
    Mosin-Nagant: Mostly made out of “whatever the f*ck the comrades could find lying around the People’s Factory”

    AR15: can probably put together a nice one, due to the popularity of ownership, for under $1,000
    AK47: Can probably get a decent one, or refurbished one, for under $500.
    Mosin-Nagant: Can probably buy rifle, 440 rounds of ammo, and a case of Windex for under $200.

    AR15: Won’t work unless you clean it every day
    AK47: Should be cleaned at least once a year
    Mosin-Nagant: Was last cleaned by a Russian conscript in Berlin in 1945

    AR15: If the firing pin breaks you send it to the factory for repairs
    AK47: If the firing pin breaks you buy a new one
    Mosin-Nagant: If the firing pin breaks you just screw it deeper into the bolt

    AR15: Your accessories cost more than the rifle
    AK47: All your accessories cost around $300
    Mosin-Nagant: All your accessories come free with the rifle

    AR15: Accountant’s Rifle
    AK47: Factory Worker’s Rifle
    Mosin-Nagant: If you can fill out an application, you can probably already afford it

    AR15: Tax return will get it
    AK47: Tax return will get you 2 plus mags
    Mosin-Nagant: Tax Return will get you a case plus enough ammo to last you till doomsday

    AR15: Made when jet passenger flight was fairly regular
    AK47: Made when knowing how to fly could make you an officer
    Mosin-Nagant: Made when hot air balloons were considered the ultimate flight technology

    AR15: Buttstock is collapsible, only used to aid in shooting the rifle
    AK47: Buttstock is also good for knocking some oppressor’s teeth out
    Mosin-Nagant: Buttstock is good for use as a sledgehammer, crutch, club, or boat oar

  5. #5
    Wow.. somebody put some time into this haha

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by DoctorChops View Post
    Wow.. somebody put some time into this haha
    "Regarding muzzle blast:
    AR15: Makes a popping sound that is hardly noticed at a public range.
    AK47: Makes a hearty boom that usually gets noticed at a public range.
    Mosin-Nagant: Makes the Earth tremble and two guys in Bavaria look at each other and ask “vat da hell vas dat?!”


    HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

    So true... I cant stop laughing

Members who have read this thread: 2

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •